Comment Rules
The core rule is, you can criticize ideas, and you can criticize people who hold those ideas, but if you’re going to disrespect identities, I won’t approve your post. Calling women “boys” or “men”, men “girls” or “women,” or using neuter pronouns to describe either means your comment won’t be approved. This also includes faux-logical screeds about how “You are really really male/female”, appeals to genetics, and blatant assertions that cis people are not interested in relationships with trans people.
I will not approve comments that include transphobic concepts such as “woman-born woman,” which has strictly been used to justify discrimination, segregation, and cissexual supremacy in women’s spaces from MichFest to DV and rape shelters. Also, “biological male or female,” or “genetic male or female.”
These apply to first-time commenters, sock puppets, and anonymous commenters:
I will not approve comments that include oppressive language of any variety. I’m no more sympathetic to racism, sexism, ableism, or any other *ism than I am of transphobia.
I will not approve comments that attempt to assert “hierarchy of oppressions.” If you want to tell me that trans people don’t have it very bad because race or sex is worse, then I don’t really care what you have to say. The reverse is also true.
I won’t approve posts by known trolls, although that’s a very short list.
I won’t approve any post that asserts “cissexual” or “cisgender” is “othering,” “misogynist” or any other kind of slur. Trans people don’t have the cultural currency to other anyone on the basis of not being trans, and cis- words apply to both men and women.
I won’t approve transphobic screeds in general.
I won’t approve arguments about how my comment rules are a violation of your rights/silencing your opinion/etc. If you have a grievance with how I moderated you, you can take the discussion to this page, but you will not derail the ongoing conversation just to salve your wounded ego.
I won’t approve comments from first-time commenters that repeat the same old arguments we’ve all heard hundreds of times. This goes double when the arguments were already addressed in the post the commenter replied to.
I may approve comments like this, but using this language means that I will put you on permanent moderation.
I’m fine with disagreement, I really am. But this isn’t a forum for people (cis or trans) to air their transphobic grievances with me and mine. I want trans people, first and foremost, to feel safe commenting here. I’m not always perfect in that regard, but I will err in the favor of those who are oppressed and against those who are oppressors.
For other commenters:
If you do the above, you’ll be asked to check your privilege. It’s no big thing, happens to all of us.
[...] I won’t approve your comments as long as you can’t follow these very simple guidelines. This space is not for you to spread your transphobic hate speech. Start your own blog. Troll [...]
Please Read the Comment Rules Before Posting « Questioning Transphobia
19 Apr 08 at 1:17 am
I wonder if I am on your list of “trolls”..
My ideas are considered totally too dangerous to be allowed to be seen by much of the transgender community despite my personal history on long advocacy for trans people…..I am the enigma wrapped in a dilemma for much of the trans community.
Please let me know as I will respect your wishes in this.
Rev. Mother Cathryn Platine
catkisser
22 Jul 08 at 8:27 am
Short version:
No, you’re not on the list of trolls. I disagree with so many of your arguments I can’t even begin to enumerate them here. However, as long as you respect people’s self-identification, you’re welcome to post – I’m not opposed to disagreement as long as those disagreements don’t cut across human beings and their lives.
That is, don’t be calling men “women” or women “men.” Surgical status and/or preference is not relevant.
Lisa Harney
22 Jul 08 at 2:41 pm
Hi!
I just wanted to say how much I look forward to catching up with your site on a regular basis. I work as a Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in L.A. with a straight but very supportive non-trans psychologist supervisor, who knew very little of all things trans when I began but now she has become an advocate (in a non-condescending or ‘trendy manner). Prior to that I was employed at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center (their first trans therapist) for five years-they also asked me to start a Trans Division at the Center, but alas, my health issues – chronic pain – prevented me from doing so). I do individual, couples, group and family counseling. I’m also a professor at Antioch University L.A., teaching courses like Human Sexuality (required!) and serving on the Board of Directors for their LGBT Psychology Specialization, the only one of its type in the country. Additionally I lecture at universities, mental health facilities, trans events, etc. I often recommend your site to friends and clients as I find myself agreeing so often with your opinions that attempting to merely ‘explain’ your views makes less sense to me than just sending them to the source (plus I enjoy your writing style and don’t want to deny them the pleasure of same). Please keep up the good blogging. Sincerely, Jessie
Jessie Jacobson
2 Sep 08 at 9:52 am
Thanks for the kind words!
I’ve come across one of your lectures on youtube, I think.
Lisa Harney
2 Sep 08 at 10:15 am
[...] * Don’t be oppressive [...]
Comment Rules Updated « Questioning Transphobia
25 Sep 08 at 11:27 pm
[...] a comment » New clarification added to the rules, to make it explicitly clear what happened in this post should not happen. I won’t approve [...]
Comment Rules Updated « Questioning Transphobia
14 Mar 09 at 4:31 pm
[...] Also, the comment rules. [...]
Moderation Off « Questioning Transphobia
24 Jun 09 at 5:37 am
I hope you check you spam and banned basket. I tried to start making an apology on the Open Monday thread but I think it went into either the banned or the spam bucket. I don’t blame you at all but I really hope you will take a chance and read what I wrote. Reading Whipping Girl has opened my eyes. It was suggest by a trans woman with whom I’ve become email pals. You know me by the name c h i c k e n h a m m e r.
If you won’t give me the chance to show you (and the rest of the readers of your blog) that I have changed I understand your position. I hope you will reconsider as I have realized how ignorant I have been and really do want to make amends as best I can.
better informed
26 Apr 10 at 9:54 pm
I found your comment in the spam queue and approved it. Thanks for the notice.
Lisa Harney
26 Apr 10 at 10:02 pm
Thanks for taking the chance. I’m cool with you deleting the posts from better informed. I’m also cool with you keeping an eye on (or moderating) my Chicken Hammer posts. I know I’m going to behave but you only have my history to go by and that is an ugly history.
better informed
26 Apr 10 at 10:41 pm
I notice that the last 4 or 5 of my postings seem to be on continuous (maybe permenant) moderation. I am not writing here to complain. I understand why the first three or four of the “under moderation” postings are designated that way. I deeply regret having gotten so out of control, for having used poor judgement, for derailing the dialogue about the OP, and most of all for engaging on such a personal level with other members, including you, Lisa.
I understand if this and other apologies already posted remain suspect. I’m not sure why my last two postings are under moderation, other than the possibility that something I stated in them is in some way I’m not aware also offensive, insensitive, or a violation of the comment rules. But it’s your blog and your rules, and I do respect that; infact I completely agree with the rules you’ve established to keep this a safe place. I just wish that one of the comment rules banned deliberate misquoting and/or misrepresenting what another person said through contorted paraphrasing. But I’m certainly in no position to throw stones here, and I know it.
My other big mistake was that I posted without having read the rules first. I’m a newcomer to cyber-forums believe it or not. I’m almost computer illiterate, only having gotten used to email a year ago, but I accept that ignorance isn’t an excuse, especially for inappropriate behavior.
If I haven’t already been relegated to permanent exile or trolldom, I would love to be allowed to take part in discussions and debates here. Otherwise I’ll continue to read and learn here, unless you’d rather I not even do that. Please let me know, either way, and I will accept, respect and honor your decision.
By the way, I’ve only read a small portion of your blog postings so far, Lisa, and I’m deeply touched and impressed. For what it’s worth, you have another fan, regardless of my fate here.
Christina Shannon
3 Apr 11 at 3:20 pm
I prefer that people not misrepresent or misquote each other, but I didn’t specifically see that Em did that (I know your perceptions may differ). I am not sure how to enforce such a thing unless it becomes blatantly obviously intentional, as opposed to miscommunication going badly.
You can continue to comment here. I think I would advise, if you hit an exchange as you did with Em, stepping back and taking a break and rereading what they wrote, and if you feel like there is a problem, it is certainly fine to bring it up here or in e-mail or whatever.
The main reason for the moderation was the use of gender policing and misgendering, which is perhaps the single easiest way to actually get banned here – most of the worst trolls usually resort to this on a pretty toxic level. I trust you weren’t trolling, but I would very much prefer nothing like that be said.
Lisa Harney
5 Apr 11 at 1:54 pm
I appreciate your concern, and I understand why you took the measures you did. I respect that. I also agree that misquoting/misrepresenting would be nearly impossible to regulate in most cases.
As I stated in one of my apologies, my inappropriate behavior had more to do with being “triggered” by what I perceived as an invalidation of what I said – which happened to me consistently as a child. Having cooled down, I no longer believe this was anything truly deliberate nor personal on Em’s part.
I’ve also read a lot more on this and other similar sites since that regrettable dialogue. I realize now why my suggestions were challenged so, shall we say, enthusiastically. Having read some of your essays and some on Whipping Girl’s site I have a clearer and better informed appreciation for the battle for our rights as fully human beings – which I now know I was barely aware of despite what I thought I’d previously learned.
I tried coming out as my true gender well over thirty years ago and had my efforts sabotaged by my loving parents (who, naturally, disowned me), my spouse, and most effectively my therapist – who was working very hard to fix my “confusion” and lied about my psych eval. to discourage me from pursuing SRS.
Three decades later, my parents are dead, I’ve left my spouse, and I have a new therapist. I started to live my life in public as Christina on Dec. 5, 2010, and I have a lot of catching up to do, which includes learning about today’s transgender polotics.
Thank you for the second chance, Lisa. Bless you and yours. Keep up the good work, and I will try to be more teachable and a lot less reactive.
Christina Shannon
5 Apr 11 at 6:33 pm