Intersections of Disability and Transgenderism
Hello there. My name is Static Nonsense, though you can call me SN for short. I’m a queer, nonwhite trans person with physical and mental disabilities, along with a host of other things that I don’t remember right now due to being undercaffeinated in the wee hours of the morning. I write over at Some Assembly Required, about all sorts of things ranging from ableism and psychophobia to sexuality and BDSM – even gaming (because I’m such a dork like that). I don’t typically talk a lot about trans issues, but it’s something I’m getting back into after having essentially gone into hiding. So yeah. Hi.
I’ve been avoiding the trans community for a few years now. The pushback I get is too much for me to handle, and I’ve never been able to get the support I need from a community that really should get why having this support is so necessary. This wasn’t always an issue – it only started showing up when I became to understand that I am also mentally disabled. Even moreso when I started to come out about that fact, a part of myself that I didn’t see as having much relation to me being trans. Just, yanno, an extra tidbit of information. Which isn’t exactly true. I’m noticing that yes actually, my disabilities are a major factor in why I identify as trans. That shouldn’t be a problem, right?
Apparently it is.
Trans people get othered a lot. We’re pushed off as crazy, disordered, for challenging the social norms of gender and sex. Either by choice in trying to deconstruct this ancient structure, or simply by existing. Throughout history we’ve been institutionalized or “fixed” (or tried to be) simply for existing as ourselves in a world that focuses so strongly on the cissexist concept of penis = man = masculine and vagina = woman = feminine. Even now the disconnect of the body and one’s self identity is seen as a disorder, one that must be treated and fixed so that we can fit neatly into this dichotomy again.
This has pushed a lot of us on the defensive, and understandably so. Transgenderism isn’t a disorder and shouldn’t be treated as such in society – it’s an identity, an intricate part of who we are as people.
But it sometimes goes to extremes. All too often people are quick to point out that they’re not crazy. People with mental illness are crazy, and people shouldn’t conflate the two. Trans people aren’t loony like those real loony people are. Which causes a whole mess of problems a la ableism, psychophobia and a combination of misunderstanding and misinformation.
For one, it isolates trans people with mental illness, even when they don’t relate. Because suddenly, they are those real loony people. The ones being targeted, within a community they’re seeking support from.
Second, it asserts that the only true and appropriate identity is one that isn’t a result of mental illness. Which is leaving me with the question of “WHY?”
Various mental disorders can shape one’s identity. What exactly is the problem with that? Why exactly is an identity shaped without the influence of mental illness more valid than one that is influenced by them? An extreme but perfect example is Dissociative Identity Disorder, where the identity of the self is so fragmented that the system can be composed of so many identities, some of which can directly contradict others. This is in constant fluctuation, and many of these can be present all at once, individually or sometimes none at all. This is effectively the case with me, where I can identify as a man, a woman, both, neither or something else entirely – be it all at once, one or two of these at a time or fluctuating constantly throughout the day. And while it can last for just minutes or days, it can also extend over several years, to the point where I originally sought out transition as a trans man due to the disconnect between being female-assigned-at-birth (FAAB) and identifying as a man for so long. And that’s not including the added fragmentation of schizotypy, where I see the world abstractly and thus didn’t have a clear grasp on this concept of penis = man = masculine and vagina = woman = feminine, even when my abusive peers tried to teach me this clear absolute true fact of the world, and I still don’t.
Since then I’ve come to the general identity of genderqueer or genderfluid (depending on which day you ask me), allowing myself to shift between these various gender identities freely as my mind naturally shifts in response to situations and just its own natural state. But this is a state I had to come to entirely on my own. I did not have the support of my own community, because in their eyes I am crazy and not “really” trans because of the possibility of my identity being a result of my mental disorders. I make them look bad, because crazy is automatically bad and I’m the reason they’ve been victimized for so many centuries.
When in actuality, maybe the issue isn’t with who is really crazy and who isn’t. Maybe the issue is with our society’s concrete idea of the gender and sex dichotomy, its complete disregard for the identity and rights of people regardless of where they stand on the spectrum, and how it treats people that don’t line up perfectly with their ideals. Perhaps this concept of craziness has just been a scapegoat for the actual issue at hand, a weapon used to demonize the people that don’t line up with their ideals. An age-long system of oppression built on cissexism and transphobia, utilizing ableism and psychophobia to attack, ostracize and well, oppress.
But what do I know. I’m the crazy one, after all.
This makes me wonder if at least some of the schism I’ve seen between certain parts of the binary trans community and the genderqueer community is at least partly about the intersections with neuroatypical folks. It hadn’t occurred to me before in anything more than a vague sense, but now I’m wondering if it was a combination of different factors rather than the fact some trans folks don’t consider genderqueer folks to be trans (which brings up a whole other basket of issues regarding “requirements” to be trans that include having or wanting medical transition). I’m still piecing together all the context and history of things, but now that I think about it many of the genderqueer folks I know of are also neuroatypical (as are several binary trans folks, who have perhaps coincidentally also experienced rejection from trans communities to various degrees, though I am unsure of any other specific reasons that may have factored in as well).
I admit I have speculated whether I’m neutrois because of my neuroatypical brain and the various diagnoses I’ve been given that include Asperger’s and ADD. However, considering the many years of struggle I’ve gone through to assert my gender identity and feel confident in it, I firmly believe I’m not “less trans” or “not trans” because I am neuroatypical and non-binary gendered. Also, I am sure there are neurotypical genderqueer folks out there somewhere.
The one pattern I’ve seen that seems (unfortunately) consistent is that some will find any excuse to judge another person’s experiences and identity for myriad reasons, and to deem one or both as invalid based on busted criteria that is indeed cissexist and/or ableist in some way. That some even imply that there is (or should be) some sort of trans litmus test is inherently problematic, as it shuts out many gender variant people who don’t meet the “standard definition” of transgender.
And there’s also the fact that for some neuroatypical folks being articulate is a challenge in and of itself; trying to find the right words to use to get one’s point across is incredibly difficult for someone who has, for example, some sort of learning disability or problem with language (the latter of which is a common issue for autism spectrum folks, for example). We’re judged by what we say, after all, and not by what we meant to say that came out horribly wrong. Speaking from personal experience, there have been times that I genuinely had no idea what I said wrong, only that it made people (justifiably) angry, and it sometimes took me a lot longer to clue in to the reasons than it would have taken a neurotypical person in most cases. A lot of neurotypical and even neuroatypical people with differing issues don’t always grasp the challenges some of us face, and even if we make our various disabilities known from the outset (which has its own problems since people will still judge regardless) it doesn’t mean anyone will understand or even accept as valid our limitations. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen Asperger’s dismissed as an excuse (for being either an ass or for not understanding something that “should be obvious” to everyone, or both) in any context, for example, and how people with AD(H)D are simply not trying hard enough to focus and be responsible. It’s ableism indeed.
Galhea
14 Oct 10 at 10:51 am
Oh, this is beautiful! I’m a trans woman and I’m totally crazy and have dealt with many similar issues. (I’m all for de-pathologizing trans identities, but I could do without the stigma for mental illness.)
Also: I have never heard the term “psychophobia” but I love it. Just wanted to say THANK YOU for giving me a new word to name oppression.
Stay strong, some trans folks do “get it” and we support you! <3
Sadie-Ryanne
14 Oct 10 at 1:55 pm
@Galhea
And there’s also the fact that for some neuroatypical folks being articulate is a challenge in and of itself; trying to find the right words to use to get one’s point across is incredibly difficult for someone who has, for example, some sort of learning disability or problem with language (the latter of which is a common issue for autism spectrum folks, for example).
Yes yes yes yes yes. This is so me and my life. Especially with the whole trans thing – hence the reason why I still flip between genderqueer and genderfluid all the time. It just becomes a matter of how my brain is processing information that day which makes the difference between the two labels for me.
And I hate the whole litmus test thing. I can never seem to pass it, probably because I can never seem to adequately “prove” to people that I’m not just delusional. Despite the fact that for the record, the delusions are drastically different and usually involve things like, uh, fairies (well, sprites in my case). But my own experiences, input and identity can’t be trusted because I’m “influenced” and obviously their interpretation is the right one.
The ableism and erasure of identity is astounding. It’s why I don’t bother going to support groups and the likes anymore, and I just use my own voice. Though I wouldn’t be able to without the love and support from loved ones and friends. I just wish these support groups and other gatherings of community were more accessible to neuroatypical folk, especially in spirit.
staticnonsense
14 Oct 10 at 2:32 pm
I hope you’re proud that despite anything you’ve been told by anyone else, you know who you are.
That is what matters most of all.
You must be very strong.
Miriam
14 Oct 10 at 7:32 pm
thanks for this post. i do get annoyed when people say things like “trans people aren’t crazy” – i know that they mean that being trans isn’t a mental disorder, but at the same time being trans doesn’t give you some magic immunity to mental illness, neuroatypicality, etc. and yeah, it totally works against what i see as a really important intersection between ableism and cissexism/transphobia. there’s a great section in (i think) the documentary diagnosing difference that talks about this.
nix
15 Oct 10 at 11:41 am
[...] strive to prove that we are what cis people say we ought to be in order to be taken seriously, just as Static Nonsense has done in this space with their neurotype and its imbrication with their own [...]
Theory is Yours: A Brief Archaeology of Trans Feminist Awesome « The Nuclear Unicorn
15 Oct 10 at 1:24 pm
Thank you so much for writing this. There’s a lot here for me to think about and I hope, if you find it in you, that you can write more about trans issues. The perspective you bring is unique, beautiful, and much needed.
Quinnae Moongazer
15 Oct 10 at 7:58 pm
[...] strive to prove that we are what cis people say we ought to be in order to be taken seriously, just as Static Nonsense has done in this space with their neurotype and its imbrication with their own [...]
Theory is Yours: A Brief Archaeology of Trans Feminist Awesome at Questioning Transphobia
16 Oct 10 at 12:02 am
For me it’s the other way around I think. Being non-binary made me crazy. Or crazier. And it’s not that being non-binary alone made me crazy, it’s really that hte world made me crazy because I dared to be a non-binary.
I haven’t been properly diagnosed, though, so, yeah.
I kind of hate the way that binary trans people dismiss the experiences of non-binaries. I’ve gotten people tell me how “lucky” I am that “I can be comfortable in either gender role”. Yeah… other way around. I can’t be comfortable in either. How lucky am I now?
Asexuals do the same thing. “We aren’t crazy, we aren’t broken, we aren’t abused”. Well, what about the asexuals who are crazy, who do have at least one disability, who have been abused? (and, yeah, the whole broken/crazy thing is just so awesome…) They put so much emphasis on “healthy”, not caring that there are asexuals who don’t fit the normal definition of “healthy”. It’s fucked up.
Especially because asexuals with disabilities are screwed at both ends. “asexual” in the disability community has a much different meaning- PWD are assumed to be automatically asexual. They can’t be sexy (there’s something wrong with you if you like PWD. And if you’re dating someone who becomes a PWD, “it must be so hard for you“), depending on their disability sometimes they aren’t legally allowed to have sex, so identifying as asexual in spaces for PWD is very, very, very, very different than identifying as asexual in spaces for Temporarily Able Bodied people. It’s sucky.
It’s a useful reminder that no matter how kicked a community has been- they’re always up for kicking someone lower than them. I hate that, and I’ve just about never seen a community that wouldn’t do it.
Z
16 Oct 10 at 2:06 pm
[...] a comment October 18, 2010 A guest post by Static Nonsense at Questioning Transphobia entitled Intersections of Disability and Transgenderism raises some important points that apply to the campaigns to remove GID from the DSM and ICD that [...]
Trans and Mental Health: “… But It Shouldn’t Matter If I Was.” « Dented Blue Mercedes
18 Oct 10 at 5:48 am
@Galhea “I am sure there are neurotypical genderqueer folks out there somewhere.”
*raises hand* Hi there.
I do think Z has a very good point about living in the world as non-binary being the cause of crazy – it was a personal thing but I think it’s probably more generally applicable too. Being out of sync with most of the rest of people in one way – like not conforming to their gender expectations – seems like exactly the sort of stressor that you could expect to make a lot of mental illnesses worse if you already have a predisposition to them.
Morgan
18 Oct 10 at 6:28 am
I really appreciate this post: I wanted to write something similar, but kept having false starts.
Z, I would hesitate to say that PWMDs are necessarily “lower” than trans people, because there is no hierarchy of oppressions, but of course neurotypical able people who are otherwise trans still have that investment in stigmatizing PWMDs.
Lisa Harney
18 Oct 10 at 8:22 am
I don’t have much to add – I have a hard time even discussing this intersection – but as someone with multiple mental and developmental disabilities and is also trans, I appreciate this post.
GallingGalla
18 Oct 10 at 2:31 pm
Static, thank you for this thoughtful post. As an advocate for psychiatric policy reform, I agree that gender transcendent people, like all populations, are subject to emotional, behavioral or addiction conditions. (Lord knows, I have my share of anxieties and phobias: lock me in a room with wasps, bees or dentists and I’ll keep you entertained for hours) However, I have never seen evidence that any person’s gender identity or gender expression, that masculinity or femininity or any combination of both or neither, are in themselves pathological. Ditto, in my view, for gender identities and expressions that are fluid over time, queer, bigender, dual gender, multigender, pangender, or (my favorite term, as a former SoCal gal) gender surfer.
I think it’s important to make a distinction between diagnosis on the basis of medical evidence and diagnosis on the basis of social intolerance (such as women suffragettes, cis-gay/lesbian/bi folks and Soviet dissenters of the 20th century and nonconformity to birth-assigned gender roles today) I’ve met trans people denied care for serious treatable conditions, such as depression, and put at terrible risk because a transphobic psych provider was obsessed with gender-reparative therapies instead. That is a dangerous consequence of the current DSM classification. I feel that all trans people deserve equal access to medical and mental health care, but that no trans person should be presumed disordered just because she or he is trans.
So keep on surfing, Static. I think fluid, whatever the source, is cool and I’m proud to support you just the way you are. I’m proud that you are a part of my community and proud to be a part of yours.
Kelley Winters
19 Oct 10 at 1:25 am
Kelley, I don’t believe SN was saying that gender and gender expression were in any way pathological. They are simply objecting to the way that many trans people object to how trans is pathologized by distancing themselves from the idea of mental disability as a terrible thing, that we’re not like “those crazies over there,” and that’s really off-putting to those of us who do happen to be crazy, you know?
This is the core of their point:
And this is a good question.
Also:
Also, ze, zie, zir, hir, they, ou, and other pronouns. Not everyone sticks to masculine or feminine.
Lisa Harney
19 Oct 10 at 8:26 am
Thanks, Lisa, for your excellent point about pronouns. I was wrong in omitting gender neutral terms. They are not only affirming to many people, they’re just cool.
In my view the purpose of GID reform, and removal of the defamatory Transvestic Fetishism label, is not to distance the trans community from its own members who have mental disorders. Rather, the purpose is to assert that gender identities and expressions that differ from assigned birth roles are a valid part of human diversity and are not in themselves mental illness.
The current GID and TF categories are designed as gender reparative diagnoses that contradict transition by describing transition in itself as symptomatic of mental illness. These diagnostic policies harm and invalidate all trans and gender diverse people. They especially harm the most vulnerable of our people, those who have legitimate medical, mental or addiction conditions. SN, your experience with litmus tests and denied legitimacy is heartbreaking. It doesn’t help that the APA has defined your gender identity as intrinsically disordered and invalid, so your experienced identity can be even more conveniently conflated with delusion and discarded.
Kelley Winters
19 Oct 10 at 10:44 am
Sorry for not being able to respond to people, I’ve been out all weekend and sick for a good chunk of it. ): So this one’s going to be long in response to multiple people.
But first, a big thanks to everyone posting thanks and support. Y’all are awesome and it’s always helpful to know I’m not alone in these things.
I also want to clarify a bit that I’m not saying one caused the other – it’s not that simple. It’s never that simple when dealing with intersections. Just that these intersections all contribute to and influence each other, and that this should be acknowledged and accepted. I am also not saying that my gender, or anyone elses, is pathological or should be treated as such.
@Morgan: “Being out of sync with most of the rest of people in one way – like not conforming to their gender expectations – seems like exactly the sort of stressor that you could expect to make a lot of mental illnesses worse if you already have a predisposition to them.”
You’re right – it can. Especially for people like me, who are predisposed to schizotypy and are also significantly impacted by stress, even stressors that others don’t acknowledge. Thank you so much for bringing this up, as its a point often ignored.
@Kelley “Rather, the purpose is to assert that gender identities and expressions that differ from assigned birth roles are a valid part of human diversity and are not in themselves mental illness.”
But.. mental illness isn’t a valid part of human diversity?
Isn’t that the point that I’ve been making in this entire post, that it is a valid part of our diversity as people and that this separation from diagnostic criteria and destigmatizing is in turn contributing to this stigmatizing of mental illness and restricting access to resources for trans people with mental illness?
There needs to be a way to deconstruct the cissexist and ableist concept of pathological diagnostics without harming people within the community in the process. And without erasing us, at that.
staticnonsense
19 Oct 10 at 12:14 pm
Right, that is all true but it isn’t the point of this post, which is that a lot of trans people are extremely ableist about responding to the pathologizing of transness as a mental illness, by contributing to the pathologizing of mental illness while distancing themselves from it.
Also, this?
Mental disabilities are a valid part of human diversity.
No one is saying that the DSM-IV or DSM-V inclusion of GID is in any way helpful or useful to trans people, nor that it accurately represents us. What SN is saying is specifically that there’s a lot of ableism in the way trans people reject the label of mental illness, because “being trans isn’t like that!” and the apparent assumption that not being defined as mentally ill would somehow negate stigma for being trans due to not being defined as crazy.
And part of the problem is in creating this dichotomy in the way so many do, you get “trans people over here, PWMDs over there” and oh, is there any room for those of us who fit into both categories? Can we talk about how the way many trans people reject the “mental illness” label legitimizes the stigmatizing of mental disabilities?
I am down with reforming GID as a diagnosis. I think that all the talk about how transness isn’t mental illness feeds into negative stereotypes about mental illness. Implies that people who have mental disabilities don’t have valid issues or concerns (like your statement above – being trans is valid and not a mental illness).
Lisa Harney
19 Oct 10 at 12:15 pm
@Lisa, I believe that you have misunderstood my words. I spoke of the intersection, not exclusion, of trans people and those with mental conditions, an intersection that I personally occupy. Trans people with mental conditions deserve the dignity of access to treatment for those conditions without being deflected into gender reparative therapies that neglect those conditions. I also noted that trans people with mental conditions and a need to access medical transition care should not be denied simply because they have mental conditions. These issues are important to me, because they are personal to me and to people I care about.
My point that gender identities and expression do not in themselves meet a scientific definition of mental disorder does not in any way imply that trans people are not subject to mental conditions. In my second sentence, I noted that we are, just like all populations. By analogy, many cis-women have myriad mental conditions, but no one would repathologize all women who desire to vote, because the desire to vote never met any rational definition of mental disorder. No one, outside of homophobic extremism, would repathologize same sex orientation, because same sex orientation never met any scientific or rational definition of mental disorder. That does not mean that gay/les/bi people are not subject to mental conditions like everyone else; it simply means that their sexual orientations are not among those conditions. I hope this clarifies my message. I never intended disrespect.
I’ll also point out that I advocate proposals for GID reform that would retain, at least on an interim basis, a DSM coding for gender dsyphoria to facilitate access to medical transition care for those who need it. This is very much the opposite of dichotomizing trans people from mental diagnosis, and I get attacked for it frequently. I define gender dysphoria as distress with physical sex characteristics or ascribed social gender role that is imposed by others. I support reform proposals for the DSM-5 that base diagnosis on this distress (which I have personally experienced to be disabling or even fatal) and not on gender identity or expression in themselves. I believe that painful distress (of being stuck in a wrong body, of enduring a wrong puberty, or being forced to play an unauthentic role) is a legitimate basis for diagnosis, but I’ll maintain that gender identity and gender expression in themselves do not meet the definition of mental disorder for anyone, trans or cis. Moreover, diagnostic coding based on nonconforming gender identity and expression rather than the distress of gender dysphoria support gender reparative therapies and contradict transition– and those are bad for all of us. The second diagnosis of Transvestic Fetishism is strictly political and punititve and should simply be eliminated. Again, I hope this clarifies my message.
@Lisa, I’ll share that I am hurt that you chose to marginalize me with ad hominem namecalling, “ableist,” rather than discuss these important issues respectfully. You do not know me or the barriers and challenges I have faced in my journey. I consider all who transcend the boundaries and stereotypes of their assigned birth sex to be my brothers, sisters and sibs in my community and I offer my support across our differences and within our shared experiences. I hope that others in this forum might come to treat me with the same consideration.
Kelley Winters
19 Oct 10 at 4:41 pm
I don’t think that Lisa was having a go at you – I didn’t read the person you responded to above as saying anything about mental illnesses at all beyond their belief that gender isn’t one, it didn’t seem to be a value judgement so much as a point of frustration that many of us have in having to spend a lot of time and energy dealing with mental health professionals to no great benefit to us.
The statement “But.. mental illness isn’t a valid part of human diversity?” Was a bit uncalled for there.
Lots of people have mental illness, glitches, neuroatypicality and suchlike, and there is a huge amount of prejudice against people who live with these things, and some of the trans people who push for depathologisation of trans as a condition say some really busted things.
But that isn’t everyone, and a lot of trans people are genuinely frustrated with the system as it stands – I personally had to wait nearly 2 years while a shrink made up his mind, which is not timely medical treatment by any stretch of the imagination.
We’re mainly on the same side here aye?
Em
19 Oct 10 at 5:19 pm
Kelley, I didn’t call you ableist. I said this post was about critiquing the ableism. I was talking about general behavior that I had seen from others. I was trying to write a very similar post to this when SN offered to write theirs, because the same thing had been frustrating to me, but GID Reform (your blog) wasn’t a site I had in mind.
Now, that said, saying that something someone said or did is “ableist” is not marginalizing ad hominem namecalling, no more than pointing out racism, sexism, transphobia, homophobia, fat hatred, classism and whatever else you care to name is marginalizing ad hominem namecalling. If it is not possible to stop and say “This is busted and this is how it’s busted” then people are silenced out of the conversation.
Lisa Harney
19 Oct 10 at 6:03 pm
[...] who are crazy? Our genders are still valid. All of us, crazy or not, deserve human rights. In fact, even if our trans-ness is caused by a mental disability, we still deserve [...]
What this is. « the distant panic
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