Lady Gaga's Genitals Are Not Our Business
Apparently, the idea that Lady Gaga came out as intersex is flying around the internet. One of my readers contacted me with a link which, I think, sets the record straight:
The blog Queers United reports:
Pop star sensation Lady Gaga surprised her millions of fans by parading on stage without an underwear showing that she is intersex and has male and female genitalia. This has not yet been confirmed, but the video is certainly interesting.
There’s then an unsourced quote attributed to Lady Gaga where she says that she has both female and male genitalia and IDs as female, and below that a YouTube video of the performance in question, which I will NOT be embedding. I watched the video because I thought that she took off all her clothes and said something like “I am proud to be an intersex woman.” That is not what happened. Rather, she was sitting on a motorcycle and her dress started riding up. She tried pulling it down, then climbed off it (with the motorcycle between her and the audience) and gave her dress a quick tug, all while continuing her stage patter.
Everything about the post I linked to above is hugely problematic. First, Lady Gaga was not coming out as intersex. She was going through her day-to-day life as a performer, doing her job and looking the way people expect her to look. She wasn’t “parading” around without underwear. She was wearing a very tight dress that might have shown panty lines. And if it had, that’s what people would be talking about right now because, really, how tacky, doesn’t she know better, no one wants to see that, get a clue.
What did happen is that Lady Gaga opted not to wear underwear and when getting off of a motorcycle resulted in a quick flash, it suddenly became okay for footage of her genitals to be circulated, presumably without her consent under titles like “Lady Gaga has a penis? Lady Gaga is a man?”, “Proof!! LADY GAGA is a MAN!”, or “Breaking news: Lady GaGa is actually a MAN!” and marked with pop-ups encouraging us to view “some of the funniest drunken shamings” on the internet. That’s not coming out. That’s exploitation, predicated on the belief that women’s and genitals that are “abnormal” or unexpected in any way are public property.
If she is intersex and chooses to come out as such, that would be great. If was assigned female at birth and chooses to come out as a woman with a large labia, awesome. If she was assigned male at birth and wants to share that with us, more power to her. But it was never the public’s business and it is shameful that footage of her crotch is the way she’s going to come out.
Lady Gaga’s history is not public property.
There’s something that bothers me about this. There’s some obvious parallels to the usual Ann Coulter jokes, and cis people usually make these jokes I think because her viewpoints tend to be objectionable.
But what, say, in the mind of a cis person, has Lady Gaga done to deserve this?
I mean, obviously, in both circumstances, this is a fucked up thing to do, but … something seems more off about this than usual.
z
7 Aug 09 at 5:40 pm
A blog published an unsourced quote about Lady Gaga being proudly intersexed. There is no such quote on Lady Gaga’s blog or anywhere else, it’s pretty much manufactured.
And all it takes for someone to deserve this kind of bullshit is for cis people to know that they’re trans, or intersex. I’ve read too many accounts of CAIS women being told that since they have XY chromosomes, they’re not really women.
Lisa Harney
7 Aug 09 at 5:44 pm
Yeah, it’s probably my private WTF at people who think this is news and who think this is something, if true, that says anything about her character.
z
7 Aug 09 at 5:53 pm
Yeah…I don’t wtf at that anymore, because it’s like…this shit happens every day, you know? It’s not justifiable or reasonable that they do it, but they do it. It’s like how Helen Boyd was saying
If you’re not cis, everything you do is wrong. You can’t even get angry at being treated like crap without it being labeled as “going batshit.” And this from an alleged ally.
Lisa Harney
7 Aug 09 at 5:58 pm
boyd ain’t no ally, that’s for sure. she’s worse, in a way, than even radfems and the Raymond crowd – the latter are up front with their hatred of trans women. boyd, on the other hand, stabs trans women in the back.
GallingGalla
7 Aug 09 at 7:47 pm
There has been rumor about Lady Gaga being trans for awhile – and she has been openly supportive of trans women. In her case, this isn’t a sudden OMG moment, it has been bubbling since she started in the NYC club scene.
I hate how this is being framed as a “gotcha”. I hate that it’s being used as some sort of critique of her talent. I hate that it anyone’s business.
And yeah, Ms Boyd is a giant problem. Making money off trans women, setting herself up as an expert, and getting stuff so wrong so often.
rioTgirl
7 Aug 09 at 8:57 pm
Yes, there have been rumors about Gaga being trans since she first become known as a performer. In her dreams. And I’m suspicious about the source of them. To her credit, she hasn’t made a “the transgenders are friends of mine, but I’m a real woman” kind of speech. What might not be to her credit is how I think they’ve used some of these rumors to appropriate ‘hip cred’ in much the same way Madonna appropriated ballroom culture—as if she vaguely had anything to do with it. The appropriation and use of transwomen’s bodies (and Intersex peeps as well) has often been done in media to get ratings. This might (or might not) be another example of that. You wanna buy some outrageousness and/or freakiness… get yourself a ‘tranny.’ If it is being manipulated in this way… then shame on her. If it’s people projecting it onto her (and I see absolutely nothing even vaguely gender-ambiguous/androgynous/or trans-clichéd about the woman… such as there was with Amanda Lear or Grace Jones) then it’s more like a lame attempt for people to have “a harmless trans/intersex friend,” much the same way they token black people into white tv shows/films to make the white star seem more hip.
Helen Boyd has some serious boundary and entitlement issues.
GIna Morvay
8 Aug 09 at 9:23 am
Hey Lisa. Thanks for linking to my post!
Eli
8 Aug 09 at 10:03 am
queersunited just keeps getting more and more awful.
Caleb
8 Aug 09 at 11:10 am
You know, i haven’t seen anyone making Bruce Springsteen’s genitalia an iss…er, actually, he did that himself on an album cover. Uh, i haven’t seen anyone making Bryan Ferry’s genitalia an issue and he does have a rather high register if you think about it so obviously…
…you can’t conclude a damn thing from it.
algormortis
8 Aug 09 at 2:30 pm
I know this is off topic, but I take issue with the Helen Boyd bashing here. She has her own opinions, people have theirs, but the two comments here are way off base. This is a cis woman who is staying with her partner as she transitions and has shown herself time and again to be an ally of trans people. Enough already.
As for Lady Gaga, I couldn’t care less. I just get pissed off that it’s always “so-and-so is really a man!” It’s always women who are supposedly men that titillate the idiots and transphobes.
Véronique
8 Aug 09 at 4:47 pm
You should find some examples of “bashing” from above and stick them in quotes cuz I’m not seeing them.
I am seeing some kneejerk cis-apologism tho.
estrobutch
8 Aug 09 at 6:20 pm
There is a BBC reporter that gets similar treatment, sadly. What it all boils down to is misogyny and trans misogyny. Because these women are successful and considered attractive, but do not adhere to traditional concepts of beauty, they must be discredited by any and all means. ¬.¬
Good post, Eli, and thanks to Lisa for linking :)
Squigglefish
9 Aug 09 at 5:14 am
I think it’s that people think she’s trashy and talentless. All kinds of rumors, wanting to see genitals, etc. arise when people think a famous woman is too “slutty” for people.
I’m not sure where exactly the “she’s intersexed” part came from, but I think PART of this is continuous with the same fascination that leads people to opine nastily, but still gawk at, pictures of stars with no panties on.
TrinityVA
9 Aug 09 at 8:28 am
queersunited just keeps getting more and more awful.
Really? I stopped paying attention to it back when it had a Fox News level of understanding of race and trans issues.
Thanks for the tip.
*
I am seeing some kneejerk cis-apologism tho.
This.
voz
9 Aug 09 at 1:24 pm
At first I thought that the analysis, as opposed to the fucked-up, had come from QU, and I was thinking, “Holy shit, something good came out of QU?!?” and then I realized that no, it was QU that did the thing needing critiquing, and hell unfroze. :-/ If we’re boycotting blogs, let’s start with that one.
While the other Boyd related comments were totally on-target, I think calling Boyd “worse than Raymond” counts as bashing. I mean, really? Worse than someone who incited a national purging of trans women from [cis] women’s organizations and said horrible things about Sandy Stone in print, who nearly destroyed the ONLY lesbian music collective because they refused to fire a trans woman, who worked to make it impossible for any trans woman to hold any organizing position of significance for anything, who is directly responsible for taking the focus off women’s liberation and making oppressing and purging trans women one of the highest priorities of the [cis][white] women’s movement for ~25 years? Really? Tell me you said that because you’d really thought about the comparison, not just because it was a convenient thing to throw. I didn’t live through that bullshit, but I wonder how someone who had might react to that comment.
OTOH, I think saying that she’s “shown herself time and again to be an ally of trans people” and praising her for staying with her partner (um, this is not exceptional or amazing, this is just non-bad. Seriously not cookie-worthy) is kneejerk cis apologism. As is pretending the comment quoted didn’t exist/wasn’t significant, or that that degree of disdain/superiority-complex/contempt doesn’t merit some serious anger.
Lady Gaga was actually mentioned/quoted/interviewed? on tranny-alert, as “not a tranny but looks like one and a lot go to her shows;” she said some pretty busted stuff there and has made disparaging comments like “OMG I look like a tranny.” So I’m uncomfortable with the positioning of her as uncomplicatedly an ally.
Also QU’s comment about how it was so clearly deliberate–WTF?
And the quote attributed to her is, of course, “satire”. (those scare quotes are there for a reason).
ugh.
Cedar
9 Aug 09 at 10:21 pm
I seem to recall that QU is, like, this one cis gay guy, who’s kind of a putz. I could be wrong; there might also be someone else working it, but i mostly just remember this one (I was pretty sure) cis gay guy who spoke in editorial “we” a lot. i did stop reading the blog a long time ago after he/they/whomever said something particularly boneheaded, I forget what.
managed to miss the BS about Lady Gaga. people are arseholes. and Boyd icks me out.
belledame222
10 Aug 09 at 4:53 am
…oh, wait, now I remember, one of the boneheaded things at least: some defense of PETA and specifically of the girl-on-girl-no-not-at-all-exploitation because, according to mr. united queer dude, well, c’mon, no one wants to watch a couple of guys make out…
belledame222
10 Aug 09 at 4:56 am
Repetition of the phrase “knee-jerk cis apologism” looks a lot like a knee-jerk reaction to me. :)
Véronique
10 Aug 09 at 6:44 am
I wasn’t aware that not divorcing, beating, raping, or emotionally abusing one’s trans spouse qualifies one as an ally.
Color me educated.
MTG
10 Aug 09 at 10:14 am
Can someone please explain what Helen Boyd has to do with the sanctity of Lady Gaga’s genitals? And while I’m no Helen Boyd apologist (I just responded to comments she made in her En/Gender blog about this thread) I have to say I find what MTG just wrote pretty offensive. Whether they’re entitled to critique our community or not, partners of transpeople are an important adjunct segment of the trans community(s) and it would be a lonelier world without them. Many of them take a lot of crap from their communities and families (and have, in past, even been victims of violence). I find the snideness of MTG’s post really lame. Sounds like someone hasn’t been getting any.
GIna Morvay
10 Aug 09 at 10:50 am
Thank you for this post, Lisa!
jennikins
10 Aug 09 at 10:52 am
I was hoping that this wouldn’t veer off into a discussion of ally-hood, but that seems predestined to occur.
I imagine that I and others conceive of being a good ally as doing positive things for the community, and not just necessarily, passively refusing to do the bad things — if one accepts the latter for allyhood, by that logic you could say that most males are feminist allies because they don’t actively choose to rape women.
Perhaps we need a post to discuss allyhood in general, as it always seems to be a hot-button topic.
z
10 Aug 09 at 4:45 pm
My point was that from a cis perspective, anything trans people do is wrong. My example was Helen Boyd’s comment about how trans people’s anger is “batshit,” as if when trans people do get angry, there’s something outrageous about our anger, and as if cis people never get outrageously angry. Trans people don’t actually have to do anything to be attacked, we just need to exist.
I agree with Cedar that Helen is nowhere near comparable to Janice Raymond – I think Janice Raymond has done a lot of harm to trans people via her writings, and I think Helen Boyd primarily says problematic and condescending things about trans people on her blog – like the above quote. I don’t think she’s the enemy, but I also don’t think she’s always accountable for what she says about trans people.
I think MTG and Cedar make a valid point – simply not leaving a trans partner isn’t by itself a great thing. It’s a decent thing, and it’s good that they’re staying together, and their relationship is largely not my business. But it says a lot for standards toward trans people when “not divorcing” is seen as an awesome thing, you know?
Lisa Harney
10 Aug 09 at 5:03 pm
Or, since people have decided that Lady Gaga is a “man,” you get manufactured quotes about her saying she’s intersex and describes her genitals. You get Queer Unity basically saying that she deliberately gave that panty shot. Idk, it’s just like if you’re not cis, somehow everything you do is wrong and probably creepy and lascivious.
Lisa Harney
10 Aug 09 at 5:05 pm
Maybe I’m being dense, but I still don’t see the connection between assumptions Gaga, panty shots, and transgender appropriation, and viewing trans anger as batshit as defined by Helen Boyd? Were you talking about assumptions about trans people (they’re lascivious, unreasonable…)?
How about partners of trans-people who not only don’t leave their trans partners, nor rape them nor emotionally abuse them but actually… gasp, love them, proudly honor them, make love to their bodies, collaborate, offer mutual support, take blows from family and communities and stand by their partner? Do they get to call themselves allies? I never said they get to speak for trans-people, but neither do I appreciate people denigrating the lovers, wives, husbands and partners who stand by our sides, hold us and have our backs. Sad world if one can’t honor those people and sadder still those trans-people who can’t even imagine such partners exist.
GIna Morvay
10 Aug 09 at 6:33 pm
Yes, I was talking about assumptions.
And I think, the thing is, that people seem to view doing all the things for a trans person that one would do for a cis person as exceptional and wonderful, and in the context of being exceptional and wonderful for a cis person, they are. It’s just that it shouldn’t be more exceptional and more wonderful because it’s done for a trans person.
Lisa Harney
10 Aug 09 at 6:44 pm
Why the hell does wordpress keep logging me out?
Lisa Harney
10 Aug 09 at 6:50 pm
Huh? Just because Helen Boyd is an ally it doesn’t mean that when ppl criticize her for saying fucked up shit. And SPEAKING FOR TRANS PPL that they “can’t honor those ppl” who actually respect trans ppl.
I have a cis partner who I love and I stand by all the criticisms of Boyd here.
Actually I remember my partner reading some interview with her and Julia Serano and pointing out a bunch of fucked up shit she was saying.
estrobutch
10 Aug 09 at 6:55 pm
I do think the Helen Boyd conversation has derailed this particular post rather thoroughly. My point wasn’t “let’s discuss all the ways that Helen fails as an ally,” because a lot of people fail as allies, but rather, I was having a brief exchange with z at the start, about “What has Lady Gaga done to deserve this?” and I think that it comes down to, like when Bitch PhD was trying to say that Ann Coulter wasn’t pretty enough to pull off being feminine, so it’s totally okay to call her a tranny to put her in her place, or how if you put someone in the trans box, every part of hir identity, life, and body is considered to be open for debate and criticism.
Lisa Harney
10 Aug 09 at 7:01 pm
How about partners of trans-people who not only don’t leave their trans partners, nor rape them nor emotionally abuse them but actually… gasp, love them, proudly honor them, make love to their bodies, collaborate, offer mutual support, take blows from family and communities and stand by their partner?
That would make them excellent partners. I’m not sure it has anything to do with being an ally. Helen Boyd’s relationship with trans people in general does not seem to fall into the definition you set out here. And that comment–to get back to what Lisa was saying–was unfair both in terms of what it implied about pique and what it implied about basis.
It always kind of irked me to have people use their relationship with me as proof that they were supportive of and knowledgeable about an entire community. Especially when they didn’t necessarily treat me all that well, and when I was less critical because we happened to be together.
piny
10 Aug 09 at 7:15 pm
Also–Juan Cole once said something about ticking-time-bomb scenarios. It was like, if you spend hours and hours and hours concocting elaborate scenarios that would force you to torture a helpless prisoner, you probably like torture more than you hate bombs.
I think that’s how this works. I know Ann Coulter is loathsome, but I think the abuse is the point. She’s an excuse for trans misogyny, and trans misogyny is a bloodsport with independent appeal to some people.
piny
10 Aug 09 at 7:21 pm
“how if you put someone in the trans box, every part of hir identity, life, and body is considered to be open for debate and criticism.”
I totally connect to this being what the OP was about. It’s a way more interesting discussion than whether someone is an ally or not. For me, the Gaga trans/intersex attribution is mostly about hip cred and milquetoast consumerist rebellion (I wanna freaaakay trans friend like Gaga), and, by some, using those attributions to demean her womanhood (as you said, also used against Ann Coulter, Mae West, Julia Child, Michelle Obama, yadda, yadda).
“It’s just that it shouldn’t be more exceptional and more wonderful because it’s done for a trans person.”
Couldn’t/shouldn’t. Look, in an ideal world it shouldn’t have been remarkable in the 1950s (or now) to have bi-racial couples. I hope we all know that’s not so. The reality is, people (both straight and queer) do face a lot of potential judgement being paired up with transpeople. They shouldn’t but they absolutely do. Does that make them heavenly because they’re willing to do so… of course not. Does that give them special permission to speak out about issues they haven’t faced in the first person… no. Does is make them part of the ‘trans’ community… for me it makes them an important adjunct to the community, but not our spokespeople nor conduits to ‘normality.’ Personally, I’m far more concerned about Queer-identified people who aren’t in relationships with trans-people (such as QU or Jasper) shooting off their mouths about us and using us as props to make their creepy, sexualized points.
GIna Morvay
10 Aug 09 at 7:45 pm
I think you’re missing what I’m saying, or… I don’t know. I don’t think further back and forth will be remotely productive, though.
Please notice, however, that I have not made a post calling Helen Boyd out for the problematic stuff she says, but I have posted about Jasper and Queer Unity’s failures.
Edit: And I think it’s just as important to call out allies, partners, etc. who say busted things about us as it is to call anyone else out. Perhaps I should have called out Helen’s post about how trans people are at fault for cis LGB failures in terms of coalition activism because we don’t talk often enough about cis LGB hate crime victims. Or a couple of years ago, when she was saying that trans women should not be in women-only space if cis women don’t want us there. Or…you know, the numerous other times she’s posted cissexist statements. Maybe I’ve just seen too many partners go off in really horribly transphobic ways that it’s hard for me to just be all “Well, they deal with transphobia too.” I do sympathize with that, but I don’t think that should mitigate any accountability.
Lisa Harney
10 Aug 09 at 8:09 pm
To abuse language a little, there’s a big difference with someone being my personal ally and someone being an ally of the community; perhaps that clarifies it.
z
10 Aug 09 at 9:09 pm
But just to go back again, because I got derailed again, Helen’s not the subject of this post, and I should have used a different example that was more illustrative and less derailing.
Lisa Harney
11 Aug 09 at 4:02 am
<>
Thank you. That’s all you needed to do.
That once cis people tag someone as trans, either out of reality (the trans person self IDs or is tagged as such) or by sticking the ‘Scarlet Letter–T’ onto someone they wish to delegitimize (as in Gaga ‘because she’s a freak’ or Coulter ‘because she’s tall, ‘mannish’ and has an visible adam’s apple’ is pretty much a long time given of trans reality. Not too different from how I remember white people in the 60/70s going all creepy and racist if they found out someone they assumed white was, in fact, part black. Going a step further, they would tag anyone with curly hair, a broader nose or any other perceived ‘negro’ characteristic with a ready-made set of behaviors and, likewise, that person’s intelligence and judgement (and their, ahem, sexual desires) was forever tarnished.
My own sense of this “T” tagging is it’s not only the dismissal of a body/identity/social position but also a tagging with how I still feel most of society (including Queer people/allies) ultimately deep-down feel MTFs ‘suffer’ from a delusional, self-fetishing mental illness. And because of this societies’ discomfort with all things perceived as sexual (and, yes, even sex-positive people deal with this, just as all people in the US deal with/perpetuate racism/sexism/classism) comes the scarlet letter stuck on our heads with Crazy Glue. You might not like the analogy, but I do think it’s why people like Lynn Conway and Andrea James have fought so hard against “autogynephilia” because it gives a supposedly legit scientific definition of just such a systemic transphobia.
GIna Morvay
11 Aug 09 at 8:19 am
“I should have used a different example that was more illustrative and less derailing.”
^Was cut off the beginning of my previous post. Guess it doesn’t like the codes I added.
GIna Morvay
11 Aug 09 at 8:21 am
[...] recent headline on Questioning Transphobia: “Lady Gaga’s Genitals Are Not Our Business.” Nope, they sure [...]
Links: from work, from friends & random bits « Natalia Antonova
11 Aug 09 at 11:00 am
Hi Lisa :). I came to your blog via a link at Natalia’s blog.
I agree with you 100%, it’s really none of our business. I wonder why people can’t just take her for who she is, a pretty girl with a great voice and an eccentric style – why this obsession with picking at people’s private business?
Oh silly me, it’s because she’s a pretty girl with a great voice, and therefore must be toppled. God, it hurts my head to be human sometimes, it really does.
Gaina
11 Aug 09 at 2:31 pm
Sorry for the double post, but I typed my website incorrectly on my last post and wanted to correct it just in case anyone clicked on it and got a ‘not found’.
http://www.themouthonwheels.blogspot.com
Thanks :)
Gaina
11 Aug 09 at 2:34 pm
@Gina: Truth be told, I’d rather be celibate than deal with a transphobic fuck, no matter how good their intentions are. I have told and still do tell potential partners and fuckbuddies to gtfo when they fail that massively. No amount of ‘but you’re being so meeeen to teh allyz’ or ‘b-but partners transition too!!!!1′ will change that. That is my way of keeping my self-respect in a world that devalues trans bodies and deems them freakish, mutilated, disgusting, and unattractive (except to the chasers). Furthermore, I resent the notion that I should be glad that a cis person would deign to be interested in and/or have sex with me. A true ally will recognize their relative privilege, own their fuckups, and actually listen to the people they claim to be allies for. The privileged do not determine who is and isn’t an ally to oppressed people. Being in a romantic relationship with someone who is oppressed doesn’t automatically grant you a ‘get out of privilege free’ card. Otherwise, the meaning of the word is lost.
@Lisa: I apologize for derailing.
I think that it’s interesting that trans, intersexed, and presumably trans/IS bodies are considered public property more than those of cis celebs, and the continuing ‘is she or isn’t she?’ fracas to be sad, yet more revealing about some cis LGB self-proclaimed ‘allies’ than they think. I really don’t care about/for Lady GaGa’s music, but this is shameful and appalling.
IMO, an important question is what can be done to knock some sense into people’s heads, without any actual knocking of heads? What can allies do, or what should they do?
MTG
12 Aug 09 at 3:13 am
I don’t want to be an ally. I want not fucking up to be expected of us all the time with the appropriate social ramifications when one of us does. I want it to be expected of us that trans peoples’ lives matter just the same as those of people who aren’t trans. I want to expect the police to not sweep dead trans people, often dead trans women of color under the rug. I want trans people to be able to expect the same justice for harms wrought and freedom from injustice in living their day-to-day lives.
I won’t settle for less. I don’t really care about the label “ally”, though. It’s too often self-anointed, anyways. I don’t think one deserves a party hat and free popcorn for being an “ally”, and i think that when an “ally” expects to be patted on the back 24/7 that they’re sure as hell distinguishing themselves about not being an ally…or so i’ve noticed from many of the “allies” i encounter. Go on with your bad self being an “ally”, just don’t expect it to be a security blanket when you do things like this.
Oh yeah, and i still don’t care about Lady Gaga’s junk. However, every time i read this thread, i get that goddamned Poker Face song in my head.
algormortis
12 Aug 09 at 1:05 pm
What algormortis and MTG said. Twice.
That said, I have yet to be convinced that “ally’ isn’t an acronym expanding to “run like Hell if you’re trans.”
voz
12 Aug 09 at 5:27 pm
Well, this is sickening. I’m coming to realize how much we’re taught by society to obsess about genitalia. There’s this pathological need to KNOW, at all costs. Ugh.
Anyway, algormortis+1 on the ally bit.
Samia
13 Aug 09 at 10:57 am
Personally (my opinion, so it’s neither right nor wrong), I think it’s rather sad so many people posting on here distrust allies from the get go. My instinct is to give people a chance to prove themselves and, should they screw up, at least let them reflect back my feelings about why their behavior/attitudes didn’t work for me and see if they can learn from that experience. Yes, I agree those who are toxic in anyone’s life need to be eventually cut loose but, usually, that takes time and repeated working-through of issues. I have many imperfect people in my life who I nonetheless love (if with some caution). i’m not willing to forgo my self-respect in an attempt to make them comfortable, but neither will I jettison people from my life because their process in understanding trans issues is still ‘under construction’. It’s a lonely/frustrating world out there for those requiring perfection.
GIna Morvay
13 Aug 09 at 2:42 pm
My further, personal $0.02 on the ally tip:
I’ve had enough issues with some white “antiracist allies” wanting special treatment that I have a very visceral reaction to the term. As a cis person trying to take responsibility for the depth and consequences of my privilege, I appreciate anyone who wants to take the time to educate me, but in the end this is really all on MY shoulders. And to me, the word “ally” has become somewhat synonymous with “cookie monster.” Too often, it seems that some people will use their allyhood in conjunction with their majority status (“You NEED us, so be nice!”) to shame marginalized folks into tolerating little (and big) indignities because if they don’t, then the other kids are picking up their toys and leaving, goldangit. So it’s not a term I want to own in the context of expressing my solidarity with trans people.
That’s why I can relate to the poster who said they want to be held to the same standards as anyone else when it comes to civility, compassion, and common sense.
Samia
14 Aug 09 at 12:16 pm
My goal through Queers United is to make the world a better place for all people regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. Many of these comments come as a big surprise to me, because I make a deliberate attempt to be trans inclusive on my blog. I am not an expert on trans issues, never claimed to be and have been learning more as I read and blog.
The last thing I want is for people to feel I am somehow anti-trans, that is the farthest thing from the truth! I really don’t understand where this sentiment is coming from? I take issue with the fact that more LGB blogs and orgs leave off the T even if the letter is nicely added on and they claim to care. I most often don’t have commentary on trans issues my blog is simply an opportunity to take action ie: email your congressperson to take action on an inclusive ENDA, or to speak out in favor of gender identity inclusion in hate crimes legislation.
I am cis but does that not make me eligible to be an ally, learn more, and advocate on behalf of trans rights? If you don’t like the blog you’re welcome not to read it, but I’d like to understand why there is so much outright disgust for the blog?
queerunity
16 Aug 09 at 3:20 pm
I don’t think anybody said your anti-trans.
The problem with you blogging about trans issues is that you have zero accountability. When trans ppl take the time to point out how your efforts to be an “ally” are harmful and you respond with “you don’t like my blog well don’t read it”. that shows a total lack of accountability to your cis privilege. it means that whatebver your great intentions are you are going to continue to fuck up and do things that are anti-trans.
estrobutch
16 Aug 09 at 3:52 pm
obsessing over $random_person’s genitals == not being a cis ally.
z
16 Aug 09 at 4:45 pm
I am not perfect, and it really saddens me if my posts came across as anything but seeking freedom from a transphobic society. I admit I have made some mistakes in blogging, ie: the Lady Gaga post. I saw the quote and said if this rumor is true it would be amazing, but you are right her genitals are her business and I sort of jumped on the gossip bandwagon thinking it would be a great story for intersex readers to take pride in. I am your friend and ally, and hope that the few posts that aren’t good don’t diminish the overall effort to bring about true gender equity.
queerunity
16 Aug 09 at 5:10 pm
Actually, queerunity, you have a long and consistent history of fucking up trans issues, and the racefail surrounding your posts (on Jamaica and homosexuality, for example) was and is particularly bad.
Back in the day, I used to use your blog for target practice, just because you could be counted on to fuck up trans issues as well as race issues on a semi regular basis.
You were, and are that predictable. From my many interactions with you I find you arrogant, highly resistant to any process whatsoever of accountability, unwilling and unable to grasp the effect what you write about has on the communities that you do appropriate from, unwilling to hear members of those communities call you on your often transmisogynistic material, your abysmal treatment of any issue even tangentally related to intersex issues, or even at times, open racism.
Truth is, I find you a lost cause, if only because you refuse to own your shit, and even at this late date come into a trans space demanding that your intentions trump all, and start crowing about what you are entitled to as a coddled cis gay man.
Perhaps the time has come for some serious self reflection, and an open apology to everyone here for wasting our goddamn time. However, knowing you so intimately, I expect nothing better from you than the entitled drivel you are already spewing here and in the past two years I have read your rather awful, appropriative, and hurtful writings.
You are not only not perfect, you are adamant about maintaining your abysmal level of hurtful, unexamined incompetence, and I would like to make one final plea to you to change your ways.
voz
16 Aug 09 at 5:40 pm
Hi, everyone! I’m an intersexed individual that wanted to comment on the supposed “intersexed announcement”/press-smear of Lady Gaga on Queers United. I have recently started writing a blog to raise awareness about intersexed individuals’ experiences, health, and mainstream media perception. If you are interested, please view my comments at the link below!
http://fullfrontalactivism.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
Claudia
17 Aug 09 at 1:34 pm
@Claudia: thanks for the link to your blog, I really liked what you wrote. So a side discussion about being ‘allies’ might be… do non-intersex trans people have a ‘right’ to comment on obviously intersex issues? Granted, there is a lot of overlap between communities in a story such as this (i.e. Gaga was ID’d as trans before she was ID’d as intersex and likely, a lot of the people doing the IDing don’t make much distinction between the two nor are informed about either condition.
@queers united: “seeking freedom from a transphobic society”
Honestly, I didn’t see anything in your post which didn’t buy into the ‘look at the freak’ sensationalism of IDing Gaga as intersex, despite the gross assumptions made by that ID, and the total lack of intersex experience and realities it implied (not to mention the total invasion of her privacy). That’s one of many reasons you’re not getting any cred as a spokesperson for freedom from transphobia. I will, however, grant, how a performer like Gaga, probably on some level, relishes the appropriation of trans and intersex identities for PR purposes and, for me, I think that’s at least as big an issue as anything you brought up. It’s amazing to me how people don’t seem to be calling her on this. Out of our ‘sensitivity’ towards intersex people, we’re basically giving her license to exploit them.
I see this as a much bigger fish to fry than what yet another insensitive queer blog is saying.
gina morvay
19 Aug 09 at 10:22 am
@queerunity “The last thing I want is for people to feel I am somehow anti-trans, that is the farthest thing from the truth!”
Speak through your actions on your own blog, in your own life, and towards the trans people you know. Don’t speak through backpedaling comments elsewhere once you’ve been busted. So far, your actions really have sucked…
algormortis
19 Aug 09 at 1:21 pm
[...] similar comment there, that was me, I promise. EDIT: Thanks to Lisa at Questioning Transphobia for cross-posting for me! Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)THE HORIWOOD TOP 10 – MON 4.27.09 [...]
BREAKING NEWS: Lady Gaga’s genitals are not our business!!! « The Incredible Shrinking Phallus
21 Aug 09 at 11:16 am
stephanie before she became lady gaga..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3b5mgPmw2zw
lozza
29 Oct 09 at 11:07 am
[...] Lady Gaga’s Genitals are Not Our Business – Questioning Transphobia takes on the rumours/outing of Lady Gaga as being intersex. Raises good points about how Our Culture views women’s and “unexpected”/non-normative genitalia as public property. [...]
On Sex, Gender, Femininity, and Lady Gaga | Dangerous Women
22 Nov 09 at 10:18 am
[...] she mostly caught my attention due to the transphobic and intersex-phobic rumours about her being either trans or intersex. While these rumours were typically a product of living in a transphobic and transmisogynist [...]
Lady Gaga sets the record straight « gudbuy t'jane
12 Mar 10 at 10:13 am
[...] audience, it comes across as nothing more than Lady GaGa’s way of finally putting to rest rumors about her being intersex (and thus upholds the commonly held and offensive belief that intersex is something bad to be [...]
Daughter of the Ring of Fire » Blog Archive » Lady GaGa, Pop-Absurdity, and Telephone
14 Mar 10 at 6:22 am
[...] no, they shouldn’t be, but they most certainly are. Indeed, I’m pretty certain that the whole nonsense surrounding Lady Gaga’s possible [...]
Cheryl's Mewsings » Blog Archive » The Unkindest Cut
18 Jun 10 at 10:58 am