Questioning Transphobia

The recent New York Times article, When to Out a Transgendered Dater?, written by a cis man posing as an ethicist, was notable more for its display of blatant cisupremacism and noxious subtext of anti trans sentiment than for answering its own question in any useful way. Thankfully, it’s been thoroughly and deservedly deconstructed in numerous responses (see Questioning Transphobia, The Bay Area Reporter, Feministing and Bilerico, to name but a few).

In the light of that unnecessary reminder that many cis people will always make it about them, it’s a real breath of fresh air to read about two cis parents, Venessia and Joseph Romero, who are as open, supportive and loving as any child could wish for. Four years ago they found that their elder daughter Josie is transgender and since then, according to the Arizona Daily Star (see also the site’s health blog), have worked hard to follow her lead.

And Josie is not only adamant that she’s a girl, but also that she’s transgender. She doesn’t want to hide who she is, and her family says they respect and support that. Telling her story validates her, her mother says.

“Josie is very proud of who she is,” Venessia says. “Why go through life with a secret? Where’s the health in that? There should be no shame.”

[...]

“Josie will change her mind on many issues in her life. Halfway through grad school she may switch her major,” Venessia says. “But her blood type will never change, and she’ll always be female. All through Josie’s life she has persistently and consistently identified as female. Josie is a girl, has always been a girl, and will grow up to become a woman. That is just part of who she is.”

Needless to say, the Romero family has received a lot of criticism, not least for being the focus of a significant amount of media attention.

A year ago, National Geographic contacted TransYouth Family Allies seeking a family with a transgender child, and the group contacted the Romeros. Venessia says the family gave it a lot of thought, including talking with Josie. Ultimately, they decided it would be a good idea and other media appearances soon followed.

“This world isn’t going to change on its own,” Venessia says as Josie and sister Jade, adopted from China when she was 2 and Josie was 3, ride their pink and purple bikes. “I don’t want her growing into a world that isn’t ready for her.”

Which, to me, is the heart of the matter. Articles like the NYT piece I mentioned above have only one purpose: to reinforce the ciscentric (and cissupremacist) values of a world which is transphobic by default. All anti trans rhetoric is fundamentally and intractably aimed at upholding the essentially (and essentialist) transphobic belief that trans people simply shouldn’t exist. As Alison Davison, coordinator of the Southern Arizona Gender Alliance points out, in the debate about whether TS/TG people should be ‘out’:

Many transgender folks prefer to live what we call a ‘stealth’ existence.

If they are transsexual, they will go through the stages of transition and often do their best to quietly blend in. There are philosophical and political discussions about the importance of being ‘out.’

Personally, I think there is strength in being out and public. I think the rest of society needs to see faces and hear stories of transgender people so they can develop greater understanding and compassion.

Whilst I’m broadly in agreement with this, I doubt that any cis person can ever truly understand our experiences of being trans; however, it’s true that a little more acceptance wouldn’t go amiss. And a useful place to start for cis people who want to show solidarity with, and support for, our communities would be to actually listen to us with the same degree of care and attention as Venessia and Joseph Romero have shown for Josie. If we were able to feel safe enough around cis people that mentioning, or not, that we’re trans wouldn’t be putting our lives at risk whether we self-disclose, or not – then just maybe the world could take another small step towards being a better place for all of us.

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Edited to add: There are a couple of YouTube videos of Tyra Banks’ interview with Josie and her family, televised in January 2010. Despite the poor quality of sound and images, either is well worth taking 10 minutes to watch. Here are the links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB-L_HkW_eI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nQpaL9sPYA

Further edited to add: GLAAD found some aspects of the broadcast deserving of criticism – their blog post is here; Venessia Romera responded in the comments here

Today is the National Day of Silence in the U.S. when thousands of students around the country will remain silent for all or part of the school day to call attention to the harassment and discrimination faced by trans, bisexual, lesbian and gay youth.

Founded in 1996, the Day of Silence has become the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

During their period of silence, participating students may hand out printed cards explaining the nature of their protest. This may be supplemented by additional texts or images.

Some school organizers also create or purchase pins or stickers to put on lockers and t-shirts. Others dress in all black, with rainbow ribbons or gags to emphasize the cause and their presence. Also if allowed, special announcements during the day allow the event to be recognized by the school.

Ideally, the silence ends with a “breaking the silence” event in which students participate in activism and education.[Via Wikipedia]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8kNYV5EAVw]

None of us are safe until all of us are safe…

Continuing on with thoughts about trans children and violence, just recently GLSEN, the gay lesbian and straight education network, has produced a report surveying trans students at American high schools.  They found, shockingly, that constant harassment is part of growing up trans.  No really?  This is a bit like filing a “sky is blue” report on the news, but I guess the more awareness there is about the realities of trans lives–as opposed to the descriptions from people who appear to have confused The Handmaid’s Tale for a documentary–the better.

Key findings of Harsh Realities include:

Biased language:

90% of transgender students heard derogatory remarks, such as “dyke” or “faggot,” sometimes, often or frequently in school in the past year.

90% of transgender students heard negative remarks about someone’s gender expression sometimes, often or frequently in school in the past year.

Less than a fifth of transgender students said that school staff intervened most of the time or always when hearing homophobic remarks (16%) or negative remarks about someone’s gender expression (11%).

School staff also contributed to the harassment. A third of transgender students heard school staff make homophobic remarks (32%), sexist remarks (39%) and negative comments about someone’s gender expression (39%) sometimes, often or frequently in the past year.

School Safety and Experiences of Harassment and Assault

Two-thirds of transgender students felt unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation (69%) and how they expressed their gender (65%).

Almost all transgender students had been verbally harassed (e.g., called names or threatened) in the past year at school because of their sexual orientation (89%) and gender expression (87%).

More than half of all transgender students had been physically harassed (e.g., pushed or shoved) in school in the past year because of their sexual orientation (55%) and gender expression (53%).

More than a quarter of transgender students had been physically assaulted (e.g., punched, kicked or injured with a weapon) in school in the past year because of their sexual orientation (28%) and gender expression (26%).

Most transgender students (54%) who were victimized in school did not report the events to school authorities. Among those who did report incidents to school personnel, few students (33%) believed that staff addressed the situation effectively.

Got that?  90% verbal abuse.  50% some violence.  25% serious violence.  Per year.  And somehow I doubt that this is often a one-off experience for a lot of kids.

Further, this confirms what bitter personal experience has taught a lot of us–that rather than be at all protected from the violence of their peers, staff actually allow and even add to the transphobic abuse that trans children and teens receive.

Given that level of complicity, I’m skeptical that any report can change such deeply ingrained personal and institutional biases, but I hope that at least some teachers and school administrators will read this and start thinking about the specific obstacles faced by trans youth and begin the very difficult task of making schools better.

via nexy

Very briefly (for now), this morning’s free tabloid newspaper, The Metro carries a remarkably even-handed report about Kim Petras “who has become the youngest person to have a full sex change”.

A teenager who has wanted to be a girl since the age of two has become the youngest person to have a full sex change.

Kim Petras, 16, had the operation in secret after psychologists confirmed she was “without doubt, a girl in a boy’s body”.

The aspiring pop singer says she cannot wait for summer to try out a new wardrobe of tight-fitting clothes.

“I had to wait until my 16th birthday. But once that was past, I was able legally to have the operation,” the German teenager added.

“Everything has changed because of this operation. I just can’t wait to put on my favourite bathing suit and go swimming like I’ve never done before.”

Kim – born Tim – began calling herself a girl when she was just a toddler.

Usually in Germany, sex change surgery is illegal until the age of 18.

But Kim convinced doctors she was transsexual when she was 12 and began hormone treatment.

“I suppose it took me longer than my wife to accept it but I am very proud of what she has achieved,” said the teenager’s father, Lutz.

“She has managed to get there and sticks to her dreams, no matter how hard and painful they are to follow.”

Kim finally had the operation late last year and has picked up a record deal after a song she wrote became an internet hit.

And last year, she became a model for a hair salon chain.

Kim added: “I was asked if I feel like a woman now but, the truth is, I have ­always felt like a woman – I just ended up in the wrong body.”

There are a couple of things in that report that I may well return to later with my (sparkly pink) tool kit for a little deconstruction. Nothwithstanding that, I send her a very gentle hug, and my best wishes for a long and happy life.

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ETA: Okay, let me just pick up on a couple of things in that report; they’re niggling me a little bit and anyway I’m feeling grumpy today, so…

*picks up sparkly pink hammer for a spot of mild deconstruction*

A teenager who has wanted to be a girl since the age of two…

Interesting. My experience suggests that I always was a girl, just the luck of the draw meant I was born male-bodied. It was never a question of “wanting to be a girl”.

Kim Petras, 16, had the operation in secret…

As BadHairDays points out in the comments below, “She talked about it on her blog before and after”. But hey, since when did tabloid journalism ever let facts get in the way of a good story?

But Kim convinced doctors…

This is a really telling comment. It’s a sad fact that the onus is on us to “convince” the medical profession of our gender dissonance: we may tell them how we feel but there is always this demand for some kind of empirical evidence, some incontrovertible proof

If I went to my (non-existent) GP and said I was depressed, there wouldn’t be anything like the same pressure on me to “convince” hir. But try walking in and saying you’re trans and you can pretty much guarantee the answer: “But how do you know you’re trans?”

Me, bitter and twisted? Well, yes, actually, since you ask…

Kim finally had the operation late last year…

Variation on a theme part 94. “And have you had The Surgery?” This fixation on trans people’s genital topography foregrounds the notion that many cissexual people have, that a woman with a penis is somehow less than, or not, a Real Woman™. And when the essentialist theories are foregrounded, then the Really Real Issues™ – the social, legal, cultural and other contexts of being a transsexual person in an overwhelmingly cissexual world – are backgrounded.

I refer the jury to my right honourable friend Queen Emily’s Transphobic Tropes series elsewhere on this blog for further, in-depth enlightenment.

…and has picked up a record deal after a song she wrote became an internet hit.

And last year, she became a model for a hair salon chain…

Do I detect a degree of what Julia Serano (in Whipping Girl) calls hyper-feminization? (“Attempting to highlight the ‘frivolousness’ nature of our femininity, or portraying trans women as having derogatory feminine-associated character traits such as being weak, confused, passive, or mousy”).

Or is it just plain ol’ trans-misogyny? (“When a trans person is ridiculed or dismissed not merely for failing to live up to gender norms, but for their expressions of femaleness or feminity, they become the victims of a specific form of discrimination: trans-misogyny”).

Perhaps it’s simply the old reifying gender trope?

And finally, to demonstrate that media prejudice isn’t the sole preserve of staff writers: when saving the image of Kim Petras from the website, I came across a fine example of cissexism (“the belief that transsexual peoples’ identified genders are inferior to, or less authentic than, those of cissexual people… Common examples include purposeful misuse of pronouns…”)

The image has been given the file name sex_change_boy.

But then, is it unrealistic to expect anything else from a tabloid newspaper which is owned by Associated Newspapers, itself a subsidiary of the Daily Mail and General Trust?

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(Cross-posted at bird of paradox)